My manager asked me to put something together on difficult conversations. I wonder if it's because he knows what kind of week I had last week. I thought I'd share it with you guys too, seeing as this was an hour of my life that I don't get back. :)
How to have 'that' conversation.
A difficult conversation is an uncomfortable but necessary talk with someone in order to resolve an issue.
Some examples of difficult conversations are:
The reason why these are ‘difficult’ is because we anticipate that we will fail to get our needs met, we will offend someone, or we will escalate a conflict.
Here are some tips to help you have a difficult conversation:
Plan ahead
If you have difficulty thinking on your feet when nervous, plan out what you want to say beforehand. Be clear on the points you want to address and why.
Check your attitude
Be mindful of your attitude to the situation. What kind of mindset do you have when approaching the conversation? Your attitude plays a part in setting the tone of the conversation.
Describe the situation objectively
Try to describe the situation as though you were an independent observer. Avoid labelling, judging, and blaming.
Use ‘I’ statements
State your needs and wants clearly with statements that begin with ‘I’ such as ‘I think...’, ‘I feel...’ and ‘I would like...’.
Be honest
Refrain from lying as this can cause more problems down the line. Try to stick to the facts of the situation you want to resolve.
Listen
Listening to the other person helps you understand the situation from their perspective. It can minimise misunderstanding and help you address the issues that matter to you both.
Debrief
A difficult conversation can have an emotional toll. Make sure you have a debriefing plan that includes talking to a support person if required.
How to have 'that' conversation.
A difficult conversation is an uncomfortable but necessary talk with someone in order to resolve an issue.
Some examples of difficult conversations are:
- Saying no
- Asking and negotiating
- Giving unfavourable news
- Pointing out a problem
- The next contact after a heated disagreement
- Talking to someone who is emotional (angry, sad, scared)
The reason why these are ‘difficult’ is because we anticipate that we will fail to get our needs met, we will offend someone, or we will escalate a conflict.
Here are some tips to help you have a difficult conversation:
Plan ahead
If you have difficulty thinking on your feet when nervous, plan out what you want to say beforehand. Be clear on the points you want to address and why.
Check your attitude
Be mindful of your attitude to the situation. What kind of mindset do you have when approaching the conversation? Your attitude plays a part in setting the tone of the conversation.
Describe the situation objectively
Try to describe the situation as though you were an independent observer. Avoid labelling, judging, and blaming.
Use ‘I’ statements
State your needs and wants clearly with statements that begin with ‘I’ such as ‘I think...’, ‘I feel...’ and ‘I would like...’.
Be honest
Refrain from lying as this can cause more problems down the line. Try to stick to the facts of the situation you want to resolve.
Listen
Listening to the other person helps you understand the situation from their perspective. It can minimise misunderstanding and help you address the issues that matter to you both.
Debrief
A difficult conversation can have an emotional toll. Make sure you have a debriefing plan that includes talking to a support person if required.
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